beautiful face, but your body doesn't match it - boudoir photos
I’M A 42 YEAR OLD MOM OF FOUR.
I HAVE 3 LITTLE ONES AT HOME AND THEY ARE THE ONES THAT MAKE SURE I FEEL EVERY BIT OF THOSE 42 YEARS.
&
I work full time which in sure makes me feel ALL those 42 years also.
BUT HEY
I actually have to remind myself once in awhile I think I look well for 42!
I try not to let my job define me but I have been there for almost half my life.
With Coronavirus going on the aerospace industry (what I work in) has taken a big hit. So right now I do a little bit of this and a little bit of that there.
The reason I did a boudoir session?
I’ve never been the skinny one of my friends or family and I’ve been in relationships where all I constantly heard was you’re fat.
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I REMEMBER THINKING TO MYSELF,
GOD.
Thank you.
Thank you for making me the way that I am.
I didn’t mean body-wise,
I meant my personality, my spirituality, & my attitude towards life.
I felt I could talk to people and that they actually liked talking to me.
BUT SOMEWHERE DOWN THE ROAD THAT ALL CHANGED.
I GUESS ALL THE NEGATIVITY JUST GOT TO ME AND I THINK THEN, YOU START BELIEVING IT.
I started not looking at myself and thinking thank you God. . . I started not talking to people that much, thinking that they would be seeing just a fat person. My smile didn't feel as bright as it used to I remember.
One time a friend (or she called herself my friend) told me
YOU HAVE A VERY BEAUTIFUL FACE BUT YOUR BODY DOES NOT MATCH IT.
Back in my younger days I would have thought bitch is just jealous
but this time it hurt me.
Then I saw a friend do a boudoir session with Molly and I was thinking to myself how powerful and confident she's was and it showed from pictures.
WOW.
I wanted that!
I don’t think I’m saying doing this boudoir was gonna answer my prayers to make me confident and powerful but to let me SEE myself through the eye of another and see that the person from 20 years ago is still in there.
The confidence, the spirituality, the "I don’t care what you think of me" is still somewhere in there.
AND I SAW IT....
LEADING UP TO MY SESSION
I was nervous!!! Excited!!! First time jitters. What if it rains? What if it's too hot. You know everything that could run through an anxious person’s mind, was.
Being the first boudoir session, I think the not knowing what to expect fueled those thoughts.
DURING MY SESSION, THOUGH?
THIS IS THE THE PART I WOULD LOVE TO EMPHASIZE ON.
I might even start crying writing it.
Right away getting there Molly made it feel so comfortable. Just like we were friends and picking up where we left off. I was probably talking to much and laughing a lot to begin with but that’s just me being nervous. She had this calmness to her voice that I knew if I just listened to her I would get though it having fun! And I did. No joke but that day I realized what it meant when we say us women should bring each other up not put each other down. That is what she made me feel.
I guess you gotta feel that women empowering other women feeling to know how good that feels.
And as far as unexpected emotions?
PEACE?
Is that an emotion?
Lol!
I thought I would be nervous through out the whole session. But I actually felt at peace and thinking this lady is telling me how beautiful I look in this shot and how awesome the wind is making my hair look and how nice my make up is looking.
Made me feel and think to myself hey calm down she knows what she's doing.
And after my session I was EXCITED!!
Couldn’t wait to see the pictures. And thinking back now I felt like if I had the courage to do this I could let go of some of my fears of what others think and just do it.
I’M NOT SURE IF I HAD ANY EMOTION THAT TOPPED MY EXCITEMENT BUT AFTER I SAW MY PICTURES I FELT PROUD!
I felt proud of the outcome.
I felt proud of not being scared to let others see And I felt whatever that emotion is called where you don’t give a shit if others don’t like the pictures. Oh yeah its called confident!
DO THIS FOR YOURSELF!
Be nervous. Be anxious.
Let all those crazy what ifs that go through your mind go through it.
Just do it!! I’m not saying my confidence levels were extremely low but I know the feeling of others put downs taking over your mind.
And maybe you wont see it in all the pictures but there WILL be at least one of those shots that shows you damn I am beautiful, strong, and I see the confidence I can have.