Surrendering To The Shift - Celebrating with Boudoir Photos

I recently stumbled across a meme that is so completely fitting that I literally laughed out loud. It said,

“NOW THAT I’VE LIVED DURING A TIME OF PLAGUE, I TOTALLY GET WHY MOST ITALIAN RENAISSANCE PAINTINGS ARE JUST WOMEN LYING AROUND WITH THEIR TITS OUT.”

As someone whose motto used to be “there are 24 usable hours in every day,” I’ll admit that sheltering in place was a huge shock to every energetic ounce of my soul. As a single mama who works outside the home, I am literally going non-stop from about 5AM until 1AM. I run on copious amounts of caffeine, an over scheduled agenda, prayer, cussing, and ignoring my mental, emotional, and spiritual health.

MOST DAYS AND WEEKS JUST RUN TOGETHER LIKE A WATERCOLOR PAINTING GONE A LITTLE SOGGY.

I rarely get a chance to just slow down and belly breathe, and frankly, that’s how I like it. If I’m catering to the rest of the world, my demons fit neatly into a closet in the back of my mind.

MANDATORY SHELTER IN PLACE WAS LIKE HITTING A BRICK WALL AT 90 MPH.

AT FIRST, I BUSIED MYSELF CLEANING, ORGANIZING, AND DECORATING, SHAPING AND MOLDING OUR HOME INTO EFFICIENT WORKSPACE, WELL-STOCKED WITH TOILET PAPER AND SNACKS, BUT LITTLE VOICES KEPT INTERRUPTING MY PRODUCTIVITY WITH GENTLE REMINDERS THAT WE NEEDED TO SLOW DOWN.

“Mommy, will you play with me? Mommy, can we go play outside?”

Even the dogs joined in on the whining chorus.

Finally, I gave in and traded productivity for a moment’s peace, and you know what? The whole world slowly shifted.

All the hurried noise melted away and revealed the chewy center of my life, the good stuff - my family, my dogs, those demons that I was ignoring. Once I surrendered to the shift, life’s routine got a little sweeter. We built our own work efficiencies, which now include regular play and snack breaks. We laugh a lot more and play silly games. We revel in simply occupying the same space for an extended amount of time, something that we would have never experienced unless we were on vacation.

IN SOME WAYS, THIS EXPERIENCE HAS BEEN A VACATION, A MUCH-NEEDED BREAK FROM THE RUNAWAY TRAIN THAT ADULT LIFE HAS SOMEHOW TURNED INTO.

It’s become an opportunity to initiate small changes to my self-care routine to keep me sane. I scroll through photos from my previous sessions with Zealous Stills, and I think “Wow, what happened to that badass bombshell?” She’s in there somewhere, slowly untangling the hurried mess of a life centered on the wrong things.

I HAVE RESOLVED TO FOCUS MORE ON MYSELF AND LESS ON BUSYING MYSELF WITH WORK AND SCHOOL FOR THE KIDS. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO THE SAME.

Treat yourself to small luxuries that you’d otherwise skip. Download the book that you’ve been dying to read. Bake the recipe collecting cobwebs in your Pinterest board. Take a nice long walk once the kids are asleep and let your mind reconnect with the universe. Resolve to do a random act of kindness at least once a day. Go to bed instead of scrolling the internet until 2AM. Break out the ukulele and jam while you’re waiting for curbside pickup. Plant a garden. Plan a vacation. Plan a boudoir session.

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. GIVE YOURSELF EVEN HALF THE GRACE YOU GIVE TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU.

While I’m not exactly sure what the next month will look like or how much longer my sanity can hold out, for now I’m just trying to remain present

in the stripped down, bare bones, essential version of life, with the most important parts of my life – my kids, my elderly parents, my dogs, and me.