I was nervous to see myself in a sexual way.

I’m a 38 year old momma of 4 young kiddos. Humor is my strength...I’m that girl that laughs and jokes about everything to deal with most situations in life. I’m an avid crossfitter with an old soul and a spiritual heart. I’m an empath, which is my strength and my weakness at the same time.

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I sat here with the sentence, “I am 38 year old momma of 4 small kiddos.” for a long time. That was all I could think of. I know I’m so much more than just a mom, but thats what I’ve been and what I’ve done for the past 9 years, that’s all I could think of. I originally planned to do this session for my husband. He travels for work and I wanted him to have something to take with him.

But the further we got into our session the more I realized this was for me as well. I have definitely had my issues with body shaming. I tend to dwell on the small physical things I’m unhappy with about myself. But as I’ve grown older I’m learning to accept ALL of me. I’ve learned to step outside of myself and see the person that I am. Self acceptance is a process and this photo shoot was definitely a part of it.

On January 31 I will be undergoing a prophylactic double mastectomy. I am BRCA1 positive. I really just wanted to have something to look back on. I nursed 4 babies with this body and that is so sacred and spiritual to me...Although surgery can never take that away, it will be nice to see the me before.

Before my session I was nervous but so excited!! I’m lucky to have an amazing husband who literally loves every inch of my body. This was a surprise gift for him that I know he will love.

I was nervous to see myself in a sexual way.

But even more nervous to see what I had thought were imperfections. In the past I would find ways to hide the things I didn’t like about my body. This was going to be completely exposed. Scary...

But, I felt surprisingly comfortable. I was afraid I was going to make some goofy facial expressions but Molly was an amazing guide. I felt safe. Which is kind of funny since I ended up nude. I was so caught up in the moment and I trusted Molly because I know how amazing she is with the camera.

My reveal took on so many meanings. It was more than just seeing my photos. It revealed to me who I really was...more than just a mom, wife, and self body shaming critic...I am a goddess. I literally cried twice...in that moment I was learning self acceptance.

I was surprised how comfortable I felt being nude.

I could have skipped out of the studio like a 12yr old with braids! I was so excited. A little bit of weight was lifted that day. I felt like a badass and it was fun being sneaky because my husband had no clue that I was doing that.

It has ignited a fire that had been dimmed a bit from self criticism. Although I know how much my husband loves me and my body, it is important that I love myself. Every imperfection, stretch mark, roll, and wrinkle...it’s what makes me who I am......a badass goddess!

It’s worth every minute, every penny, and every bit of energy. I chose Molly because I feel that she sees the art of it all. All the small details that the untrained eye wouldn’t notice, she somehow accentuates them and they are BEAUTIFUL!

There are so many emotional layers that are lifted during the session and the reveal that ultimately you will walk away feeling more self love and acceptance but also a little naughty!! Perfect!!!

The white sheet portion was amazing. I came to the studio with an arsenal of accessories and outfits. I used 1 outfit....while having options is great...it wasn’t about the clothes or accessories it was about me and the beauty of my body!

Thanks so much Molly for pointing out the beautiful things about myself that I may have never noticed!